When I got pregnant with Adri I knew that I would leave my job and stay home with her. Chris and I had discussed it before we were even married. Children being raised by their parents (as opposed to being raised by a day care provider or government institution) was something that we both felt very strongly about. I also knew that baby number 2 would follow closely. I wanted two girls, close in age. Once Abber The Grabber came along (and Adri was almost 2) I assumed it would only be another 4-5 years before I rejoined the workforce. I had mixed feelings about this, but I was ready to face the inevitable.
I never considered homeschool. Before I had kids the thought of staying home all day with small, messy, noisy people sounded like torture. Also, I thought that only religious wackos kept their kids out of school. I was young and didn't know any better :) How would a person keep from going insane in an environment like that? It would be like prison!
After I had Adri an acquaintance of mine (completely out of the blue) said "You are so patient. You would make a great homeschool mom." I took it as a compliment, because "patient" was not a word I would have EVER used to describe myself, but I thought she was a little nuts. Why would I want to do that? I pictured the bible thumping, prairie dress clad, compound dwelling wackadoos that you see on the news. I didn't know that normal human beings of every faith and ideology educated their children at home. But her words stuck with me, ratting around in the back of my mind.
After Abbi was born and some of Adri's friends started going to part day pre-schools I started looking into education. It seemed too early! She was so young and vulnerable! How could I send her away even a few days a week without a parent there to keep her safe? I felt guilty, like I was overprotective and depriving her of a necessary "educational experience". By the time she was 4 I felt frantic. In only a year she would be sent off to school all day! I wasn't ready for that, I knew she wasn't ready for that, and I just couldn't shake the feeling that school wasn't what it was SUPPOSED to be.
I started researching alternatives to public school. We can't afford private schools. Then I stumbled across a homeschool site. It sounded wonderful. It looked easy and natural. It supported my every belief about religion, education, family bonds, and development as a whole human being. I (very tentatively) brought up the subject with Chris. "So I've been looking at some homeschool stuff. It looks like it's something we might want to read more into." And he said "Oh good. You should homeschool the girls. School is a waste of time."
I was floored! I knew that he had been homeschooled for a couple of years as a kid, but his childhood was complicated. I didn't know what he would think.
Ok. We had decided to homeschool. It felt very freeing and at the same time very scary. I didn't know anyone who homeschooled their kids and I was afraid people would think I was nuts, but I dove in head first. I started reading book after book about homeshool methods and curriculum. My girls are so different that I couldn't find anything that I thought would suit them both. Also, a lot of it sounded boring. I hate to be bored. I needed something that would keep us all entertained and stimulated, but I just wasn't finding what I wanted.
I joined a homeschool group here on the island and went to a park day to meet the other families. I felt out of place because my kids were so young, but I really needed to talk to people and get one on one advice and info. I felt so overwhelmed! The internet is SO full of information that I had no way to assimilate all of it. I talked to the moms there and they were very helpful and understanding. They all had interesting stories, ideas, and suggestions. Many books and websites were recommended. Then a woman (and I can't remember her name, but if I could find her again I would thank her from the bottom of my heart) asked me if I had ever heard of "uschooling". I hadn't. She explained that it's not about curriculum but about letting children live meaningful lives and letting them learn from real experience. To be honest I thought it sounded like a bunch of hippie mumbo-jumbo, but I didn't tell her that. She recommended some websites. I wrote them down to be polite.
That afternoon (and for the next few days) I browsed through the websites and resource info that those lovely women had given me. The only site that really spoke to me was the one recommended by the crazy "unschool lady". I spent many days reading material on unschooling. I went through Sandra Dodd's entire site. The information I found there changed the way I view learning and education (and parenting!). From there I was directed to many other helpful and fabulous resources, including the writings of John Holt, the father of the "unschooling movement". I started to read his newsletter "Growing Without School" (GWS) that he started back in the 1970's. Everything he wrote about was still relevant to us today! How had people been living like this for so long and I had never heard about it?! Chris and I both knew right away that this was the style of parenting, learning, and LIVING that was right for our family.
And so my oldest angel will turn 5 this month and she won't go to school. She won't waste her childhood sitting at a desk doing things that other people think are important. She won't be judged, graded, and tested on arbitrary information that she won't care enough about to remember anyway. Does it really matter if we learn something if we are just going to forget it anyway? She will spend her childhood playing, learning, and growing as a person. And I will spend her childhood (and her sister's) being thankful that we, as a family, decided to think outside the school box.
** If you are interested in Unschooling I recommend "sandradodd.com" and "holtgws.com" to get started.
I will probably be doing an unscooling post soon. Writing this out got my wheels-a-turnin'
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